Saturday, January 12, 2013

Odd, but not Uncomfortable


You know something? I’m happy. In a warm, friendly way.  To be honest, this doesn’t happen often, and I really don’t know the last time I felt this way after a party (unless alcohol was involved.) Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not complaining.
And it’s especially weird because the party is the reason I feel this way. Before it, I was feeling out of sorts, wading through the thoughts in my head like the sea of lilies at the end of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Perhaps it’s odd, but there’s really one person to blame for my happiness. Could it be that I’m finally starting to become slightly more adept at making friends? It’s easy to see that I’ve become more trusting with the opposite sex. I allow them in my house, for one thing. And I found myself with a guy on the couch, just talking about books and authors, and I felt true joy rise within me. For the first time in what feels like forever, I wasn’t calculating what he wanted from me, what his ulterior motives were. I didn’t feel like I wasn’t safe with him. He was just talking to me. And I was talking to him. And I’m happy. For now, that’s enough for me. I’ll enjoy this warm, safe feeling for as long as it lasts. 

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